JNW's Big Christmas List;
or, The List as Genre:

1. [Secret.]
2. A nice, crisp stapler.
3. Gift certificates to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.
4. Silk boxers. (I love the feel!)
5. Audio tapes or CDs for learning Hebrew, Sanskrit, and Classical Chinese.
6. A large "My Dad is my Boss" bumper sticker.
7. A large "My wife is a 4.0 Ph.D. student at Kent State University" bumper sticker.
8. 0.5 mm pencil lead.
9. Bookends (and not the S&G album).
10. Poetry on CD. (Already have Milton, Spenser, and Gilgamesh.) Need Keats, other Romantics, Eliot, Yeats, and El Bardo.
11. Good reading lists for the oriental classics.
12. New pair of winter gloves with leather palms. (My present pair is holy and thus sacrosanct.) 13. Cheez-its.
14. Goose Island Orange Creme Soda of Chicago (the gold standard of orange cremes!).
15. A unique ornament for our first Christmas tree together.
16. Philosophy-related children's books that I can read to Marsha in bed.
17. A nice frame for a good picture of my kitty cats to put on my desk at work.
18. Light therapy.
19. Two buckets (for the next time we meet with a certain customer).
20. A free subscription to The Drudge Report.
21. A paid subscription to First Things or The Economist.
22. Orange-accented chocolate. All kinds.
23. Unusual beers.
24. Nice set of wine glasses.
25. A guide or self-help book for overcoming fleeting obsessions.
26. A baby name book (strictly for future reference, of course).
27. A bold, classy tie.