Joshua and the Giant Turd

My office is next door to a single-user men's restroom. The air is often pretty foul, and the fan is very noisy. Anyways, this afternoon, about 4 p.m., I got up and went to use it. At first, I thought that Mr. Last had just forgotten to flush. So I flushed--only to find that there was a huge turd lodged sideways in the bowl, with little hope of budging on its own. Did I say a big turd? I mean one big log. This thing must have had tree rings. It was about 3 inches in diameter and about a foot long. Skeptically, I flushed again. The water just washed around. I flushed a third time. No movement.

At that point, I was giggling silly and tears were streaming down my cheeks. As this was clearly a faggot of historic, if not geologic dimensions, I set off in search of a digital camera. Returning, I flushed three more times, and snapped three pics. Finally, with my journalistic urges satisfied, I took a plunger to it, wacking the stick as with an ax. It broke up, sorta, but the stench was horrible. I wretched, and contributed to the mess my string of bile with bits of single with pickle onion only. I flushed a seventh time, and thanked God for the miracle of plumbing.

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